miércoles, 9 de marzo de 2005

2.5 million dollar baby

Sartre rechazó el Nobel Prize. Yo fui más lejos. Recibí la carta firmada por Ebuta Meta que se reproduce más abajo y contesté:

I received your letter requesting for my aid. I would make anything by you, but not in exchange for 2.5 million dollars. I wouldn't know what to do with that number. In addition, in Argentina, where I live, we are the best manufacturers of Mailboxes.
Sincerly yours

No sé si la referencia a los buzones se entenderá en otro idioma o en otras latitudes (quiere la leyenda que los pícaros criollos viejos les sacaban dinero a los inmigrantes incautos a cambio de un buzón del sistema de correo postal). Una vez que hube renunciado a los dos millones y medio de dólar, sintiéndome heroico y noble, busqué el nombre del japonés muerto y así me enteré de que "The Nigerian Letter Scam" viene dando la vuelta al mundo desde la década del '70. Dado que la página incluye un "[ FRAUD ALERT ]", intuyo que mucha gente incauta (o codiciosa) ha caído en la trampa de Ebuta. De todos modos, yo no condenaría a Ebuta (¿será nombre de hombre o de mujer? ¿estará fuerte? ¡Ay, negro!), salvo por la referencia a la compra de armamentos, que me parece un golpe bajísimo. Acá, una estafa en la que yo me prendería sin dudarlo dos veces.

Dear Friend,
I am making this contact with you in good faith. I got your email address in a reputable web directory. I am working with the Standard Trust Bank Plc, Apapa Branch Lagos. My purpose of writing you is to ask for your assistance in receiving the sum of $10.5 million (Ten Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) in your account.
For your information, there is one Japanese business merchant based here in Nigeria, his name is Mr. Toshio Kuzito. He was the owner of Kuzito Fisheries Nig. Ltd, located at No.125 industrial zone, Isolo here in Lagos, now have been taken over by the Government of Nigeria because nobody came for this company after the death of this man. This man died in a plane crash together with his wife here in Nigeria. He was banking with my bank and I was his account officer.
However, since the death of Mr. Toshio, I have been trying to contact any of his relative in the city of Osaka Japan through his number with me to let his people know about his money in our bank but I did not receive any response. Now I have decided to link anybody to stand as Mr. Toshio's next of kin in order to claim the money he deposited in our bank as Fixed Solid Investment since nobody knew about it and the bank has resolved that fixed dormant deposits will be paid to Federal Government Reserve, which they use for ammunitions importation.
Note that there is no risk involved in this transaction, as I will give you all information you may need to stand as late Toshio's next of kin to receive this money in your account. This transaction will go through normal banking procedures. I will direct you on how to apply for the claim of this money from our head office after I receive a reply of this mail from you.
Please if you are interested and capable to carry out this deal with me,contact me on phone 234 886283 or email me back{ebutameta@sify.com}. It is true that I do notknow you too well before now only that I contacted you in good faithbelieving God that you will not betray the trust by running away with thefund if it enters your account.
Note that we shall conclude this transaction within 3weeks upon your compliance in applying for the claims to our Head Office, as I will direct you. US$2.5 million shall be your share after we conclude this transaction.
Be duly informed that I will be resigning from this banking work to come over to your country after the transfer of this fund to your account for the sharing and investment opportunities. You need not to be afraid because in as much as I would want my reputation protected, I would protect yours too.
I'm waiting for your urgent response.
Ebuta Meta.

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